hmmm, where’s the option “we’re exclusive and sexually monogamous but he’s not my boyfriend,” oh that’s right, it’s not there because being exclusive with someone is basically a full-blown relationship but people are afraid of the correct terminology.
I guess that might fall under “It’s complicated” but that’s just silly and like things are not complicated at all.

hmmm, where’s the option “we’re exclusive and sexually monogamous but he’s not my boyfriend,” oh that’s right, it’s not there because being exclusive with someone is basically a full-blown relationship but people are afraid of the correct terminology.

I guess that might fall under “It’s complicated” but that’s just silly and like things are not complicated at all.

The crestfallen look on his face betrays his true feelings. Okay so he doesn’t want a boyfriend, it’s not like I even asked but what was I to think having him explain that I should keep my options open that I shouldn’t like him too much? I figured he was beating around the bush so I said it for him “I don’t want to see you anymore.” and he was devastated.

I guess really what he meant was that I should keep my options open because he feels guilty about spending time with me because I’m 8 years younger. 

The second I noticed him up there singing Ziggy Stardust, I knew I had to know him.

I believe we knew each other in a past life which is why things are so easy now, it’s like “oh there you are,” I don’t mean he’s my souldmate but we’re kindred spirits.

There was a moment, in his arms when a thought occurred to me “I belong to him,” and it’s possible it was only true in that moment. Whether or not he was mine didn’t matter, because he was with me and I was just enjoying him, that’s when he said “you feel good in my arms,” and I was certain that I belonged to this handsome stranger at least for those moments.

Does he mean the things he says “you feel good in my arms,” I’m sure he must, but how many other boys have heard those same words fall from his lips? We’ve only known each other a month and he’s a great deal older and already I care so much for him which scares me because he’s been through so many others and I worry about not measuring up or that one day I’ll be one of his past loves or flings.

I feel so relaxed and good while he’s around, I can’t get enough of him; there was only one moment that made me want to run. We were playing pool at the very same bar that we met. I apologized for changing our original plans and he held my face in his hands and told me how beautiful I was and that he’d chosen to forgive me because of it. It bothered me because I wanted there to be more to our attraction, I was like “that’s it? That’s the only reason?” and he laughed and said “you want me to list them all out?” and I said “no.” and we continued our game.

Today he told me his biggest draw towards me was my ability to share exactly what I’m feeling without restraint. It’s an echo of what he’d told me via text the night after we had sex for the first time “I enjoy your company , especially your ability to share what you are thinking and feeling. It is a tremendous quality I am very glad to hang out and continue getting to know you.”

I’m spending the night Wednesday and then Thursday we’re going to spend the day in Venice ridding bikes.

I can’t stop listening to Elvis Presley.